These are my thoughts about Rule 8 from Jordan B. Peterson’s “40 Rules”. You can read them all here. In the case of the rules that made it into his “12 Rules for Life” book, I’m not going to repeat any of his explanations here. These are my own thoughts about each rule from my own life and experience.

8. Plan and work diligently to maintain the romance in your relationships.

I haven’t been in a relationship in a long time. I’ve had the opportunity but not the desire.

My wife died in 2006 and I’ve been pretty happy on my own since then. Being married for 16 years does give me some insight into this rule.

The one thing I can say for sure is that, as the rule implies, if you don’t talk with your partner and actively put the work into keeping romance alive, your relationship will naturally fall into a dull routine. Over time, that dullness will often be the cause of affairs or divorce (or both). Even in the cases where that doesn’t happen, many relationships will just sputter along, perhaps because religious beliefs or fear of the unknown or financial pressures prevent either party from running away.

Read books together, talk and plan, or go see a counsellor. If you believe your relationship is worth saving, then put aside the pride and just do it.